.. 'Her advice is viperous and insulting. She makes no effort to understand the issues presented and her solutions are quackery at best and physically and psychologically damaging at worst.'Now I don't know if you can believe this but all of the above is supposed to be about me and my award-winning Dear Cum column. Sorry, but did I tell you about my award? I felt it was about time I got one and seeing as no one else was rushing to give me one I created my own. Swept the board. So now I'm the proud recipient of eight 'Cummies'. Well, Janine and her excessively magnified green eye shadow really put a dampener on my week, so you'll have to excuse me if I'm not quite my usual cheery, good-humoured and affable self. And if someone doesn't pop around soon and take me out for a yummy expenses-paid light-luncheon at 'Pret a Manger' then I might have to hold my breath until I burst. So here we are again at that point in this weekly purgatory where we slip into a living hell because it's time. And she feels tiny prickles across her pinky toe as an ant explores its new territory. She bites back a yelp as she tries frantically to shake the tickling little distraction loose, and despite the tightness of her bonds manages to dislodge it.A moment later another ant crawls up her neck as the first finds its way back to her toe. She whimpers and flails madly within her binds, the stakes keeping her securely strapped to the cold sharp grass.The mistress catches her Master's eye and winks, handing him her feather as the "ant" climbs across the Slave's heaving breasts. She goes down on her hands and knees, loudly snuffling around their Slave.She whimpers as the ants congregate on her breasts, milling about her hardening nipples despite her attempts to shake them loose, the tickling so intense it's almost even painful. She gasps as she hears the telltale noises of a dog exploring her, its wet nose kissing up her leg, its big wet tongue licking the morning dew from her smooth whipmarked.
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